Formal Resignation

My fellow students,
It’s a pleasure to see you all again so soon. I wish it were under better circumstances. I have been asked to stand before you today and deliver a concession speech. Apparently my speech yesterday caused quite a stir. I received several angry lectures and phone calls. Apparently, in 2007, some people still don’t want to hear the truth.
Most of these phone calls came from Mrs. Curran. She took great umbrage at my speech, which she has called “offensive”. Perhaps I’m in the wrong line of work. Where I come from, we call a spade a spade, and if something’s wrong, then we do something about it. If a boy has eaten nothing but Elmer’s paste, construction paper, and Lunchables for the past 4 years, he's not “gifted” or “unique”, he's not right. I’m ashamed to say how many of you took offense at my attempt to help a fellow student. But, I suppose I may as well drop it. Mrs. Curran has told me that I’m “meddling”, and that I’ve “got no business telling her how to raise her son”. She’s right. What kind of authority figure am I, compared to a bitter, 38 year old alcoholic who still works at Applebees?
I’m reminded of the old fable, The Emperor’s New Clothes. Everyone sees what’s wrong, but no one wants to say anything. It’s up to a lone voice of innocence and reason. Nick Curran is like that Emperor. Except he doesn’t have new clothes. Perhaps a more aptly titled story might be: The Emperor’s 1988 Thundercats T-Shirt He Found in a Salvation Army Dumpster.
Do you think I like being the sole voice of reason? That it brings me any sort of joy to call it like I see it? I want nothing more than to speak the sweet, happy lies Timmy Steckler calls “facts”. But like a prophet, I must speak the truth, and the truth is rarely pretty. This morning, I opened my Bible at random for some inspiration. I need it these days. I found myself in the book of one of the most famed prophets. And I quote: “And Isaiah said ‘Take a lump of figs, and place it upon the boil’. And they did so, and it healed.” So, that means something. I haven’t figured out what, but it does not sound good.
There’s a lot I want to talk to you about. I want to talk about allegations that I tried to break into Timmy Steckler’s locker and steal his campaign strategy. Or about this new “You can’t be in the same room as Suzy because her mom called the school board” rule. But I see I’m getting the “wrap it up” signal from Ms. Yee. My fellow students, you have two choices today. You can stay in your lullaby of complacency here, from which you won’t wake until you’re 42, and an accountant in Connecticut, a big car in the driveway and an ache in your soul. Or you can rise up from the shackles of oppression, leave the conformity of Warren G Harding Elementary School, and see the world for what it is. This is the one I’m picking, because Principal Torres has informed me that I’m no longer welcome here. Good night and God Bless.